“
Yes.
I've got my lessons.
But each of them
Come with a price
That never even once
Failed to left me with the unexpected
Loss.
”
Allah Akbar.
We predicted, planned, tried and decided. But
at last, He is the one who finish it, who makes thing happen. No one can deny
it for until now, still no one can tell why, when they work so hard and
everything went on fine until the last second, when they planned everything so wisely
and cautiously, but still their plan didn't work out. It just simply didn't happen how they want it to be.
Why? Why? Why?
Once before, I kept asking that. And when everything did not
work out like I want them to, I felt like dying. I want to die. I want to be
buried deep inside the soil. But never did I know, what’s waiting me in that
soil I want myself to be buried into. That time, I don’t even care. How could
I, when I’m holding to nothing but piece of paper with the plan me myself
created.
Why me? Why not someone else?
Believe me. Everyone also have their own problems. Some of
their plans also got messed up. It’s not just me. It’s not just you. So when
you asked those questions, think. Who exactly do you mean by someone else? Your
friends? Your neighbors? Your siblings? Come on. You are still lucky, for you have the chance to make another plan. A better one.
Why should I stand again after I fell?
Then what? You want to lie down and let other step on you?
Now, you can’t blame them. You’re doing it to yourself. You’re the one who’s
letting yourself being stepped on because you don’t want to get up and move on.
It’s your loss. What about you change your point of view? What if, you take
failure as your challenges? Don’t you realize each pain always brings you
strength? Then you stand up with that strength, and again you fell. You stand
up again with another new strength. So why, when you have so many strength, you
want to just lie there and die?
You'll never understand! You don't feel what I feel!
Of course, how can I understand? How can I possibly feel what you feel? We're different. We are unique. We have our own life. Our own feelings.
Our own mind. But remember, He always understand. He always know. Don't you ever deny that.
Easy for you to say! Humph!!
Ego. Because of ego, you can be the only person in this
world not knowing this world is round. I don’t know why. Maybe because you
think you are too good. No need to know anything else anymore. Well, if I find
someone like that, I will just smile and pray for that person. May Allah soften
his/her heart? Why? Because I've once that person, and I remember those people
who just smiled at me and silently pray for me.
“
Alhamdulillah...
Thank you, Mom.
Thank you, Dad.
Thank you, Sis.
And others who always pray for me.
I can feel your prayers
running through my vein.
Thank you for making my eyes clearer,
My brain smarter,
And
mostly,
Thank you for helping my heart softer
Through your powerful prayers.
...Alhamdulillah
”
